It's Christmas again???

I'm beginning to think that I live in one of the strings in the space-time continuum that's seriously warped making the duration between 2 points in time faster than everyone else's string.  How else do I explain the fact that I just wrote a year-end summary and here I am again.  Deja vu!   

Let me just say that there are tons of gratuitous bragging in this blog post.  You are more than welcome to stop reading now.  Wait - MERRY CHRISTMAS!  Ok, now you can stop reading because I've officially greeted you and now I expunged myself of any guilt.

Let me just start with the nasty fact that running our lives requires tons of lists - actual lists, mental lists, outlook lists, you name it...  Here's a sample of the Jeltema week from the kids' schedule's perspective:

-          Every Day:

o   On the counter next to refrigerator is a 1^st grade to 2^nd grade workbook and his multiplication worksheet.  Please have Garrett work on the pages I’ve marked with a sticky note.

o   Please have Sophie & Audrey do their homework as soon as they get home. 

o   Please have Sophie practice her viola as soon as she is done with her homework.

-          Monday

o   Garrett’s dismissal is at 2:25 pm;  Sophie & Audrey’s dismissal time is at 3:00 pm. 

o   Audrey has soccer practice at 5 pm.  Please have her dressed and ready for pick up by 4:30 pm.  Please have her eat  a healthy snack prior to practice and have her bring 1 bottle of Gatorade and 1 bottle of water.

-          Tuesday

o   Garrett’s dismissal is at 2:25 pm;  Sophie & Audrey’s dismissal time is at 3:00 pm. 

o   Sophie has tennis lessons at 4 pm at Covenant Hills Park (where you pick up Garrett).  Please have her dressed, bring her racket and a bottle of Gatorade.  Please drop her off at practice and pick her up at 5 pm.

o   Garrett has soccer practice at 5 pm.  Please have him dressed and ready for pick up by 4:30 pm.  Please have him eat  a healthy snack prior to practice and have her bring 1 bottle of Gatorade.

o   Audrey has soccer practice at 4 pm.  Please have her dressed and ready for pick up by 3:30 pm.  Please have her eat  a healthy snack prior to practice and have her bring 1 bottle of Gatorade.

-          Wednesday

o   Garrett’s dismissal is at 1:05 pm;  Sophie & Audrey’s dismissal time is at 3:00 pm. 

o   Audrey has soccer practice at 5 pm.  Please have her dressed and ready for pick up by 4:30 pm.  Please have her eat  a healthy snack prior to practice and have her bring 1 bottle of Gatorade and 1 bottle of water.

o   Sophie has viola lessons at 6 pm.  Please have her ready for pick up by 5:30 pm.

-          Thursday

o   Garrett’s dismissal is at 2:25 pm;  Sophie & Audrey’s dismissal time is at 3:00 pm. 

o   Audrey has performance training at 4:45 pm.  Please have her dressed and ready for pick up by 4:15 pm.  Please have her bring 1 bottle of water.  Her carpool will pick her up.

o   Garrett has soccer practice at 5 pm.  Please have him dressed and ready for pick up by 4:30 pm.  Please have him eat  a healthy snack prior to practice and have her bring 1 bottle of Gatorade.

-          Friday

o   Garrett’s dismissal is at 2:25 pm;  Audrey’s dismissal time is at 3:00 pm.  

 o   All the kids have art class at 7 pm.

Yep - OCD level list, right?  I haven't even shared our travel itinerary and our babysitting itinerary.  Folks who've seen these feel nothing but pity for the poor folks that have to share in this experience with me. 

So aside from the daily list, what else transpired?

I now measure time in pop-culture metrics.  2012 brought us the annoyingly catchy "Call Me Maybe" that my soccer carpool insists on singing again and again in the car.  For variety, Audrey and her teammates would sing it as cats with different "meow" sounds, and the as different breeds of dogs.  You thought the song was annoying?  Try listening to a bunch of 10 year old girls pretending to be chihuahuas and terriers singing this song.  At least Garrett's carpool had better taste.  They sang their broken-hearts out to Adele as only 7 year old boys can.  Yep - 2012 made me and official soccer mom, with both Audrey and Garrett in club soccer, evenings and weekends were spent shuttling them from one practice, scrimmage or game to another.   Our carpool soundtrack jumped from Flo Rida, Ingrid Michelson, Muse, AWOL Nation, Adele, Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Airborne Toxic Event, etc...  And the kids inevitably knew all the lyrics to every song without the help of Shazam.  I swear they must have photographic auditory memory (if such a concept actually existed).  

Oh but I forget the most important thing.  In between soccer carpool rides, Audrey and Garrett are truly developing as competitive soccer players.  Audrey successfully moved from an 8v8, defensive game to an 11v11 offensive game.  Her coach has helped build her confidence by putting her in various positions and she's become quite a well-rounded player.  Garrett still has moments on the field when he shows his age and loses focus.  But when his head's in it, look out!  Van Persie, Rooney, Silva, Kompany, Ya ya Toure, Alex Morgan, and Hope Solo are now names that are mentioned around the house.   

Now, instead of John and I going to arena concerts to enjoy the latest bands, we've been attending LA Galaxy games with the kids.  Not that I'm complaining.

Sophie went from a recreational viola player to a serious player, having played with at least 4 different orchestras throughout 2012. Being the Type A perfectionist that she is, she couldn't handle it the first time she went down a chair.  I don't know where she gets this drive from, I'm guessing it's something she picked up from the vitamins she's been taking.  That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Sophie and Audrey are now both GATE students - Audrey having been tricked into taking the test one Saturday morning.  She thought we were just going to Starbucks.  I mean, I did have her just put on her pretend-Uggs (because I'm too cheap to buy her the real ones) over her PJs and then dropped her off with a pencil.  Preparation is overrated, you know.  Sophie got into honors orchestra by showing up 2 minutes before her call time and doing her thing.  Meanwhile,tons of kids dressed to the nines were practicing in front of their stage moms for hours in the rehearsal room. 

Garrett now has a scar on his forehead when he went up against a bat and lost. His first season as a baseball player and he's got a scar to prove his tough.  

John did a lot of running this year.  Not from me, you naysayers out there!  He actually ran a half-marathon (OC) and a full marathon (Long Beach).  Most mornings, he was out running before the sun was even up.  He must have picked up about $30 worth of coins along his runs. 

We didn't have any international trips this year.  However, the Sterns gave us a very good reason to visit a number of New England States.  We took "ADVENTURE TIME" to a new level, visiting New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusetts, and New York in a 2 week period.  If you count the train ride between Boston and New York along with the trip to Ellis Island, we actually also hit Rhode Island, Connecticut and New Jersey.   I could give you guys highlights to our trips but then I'd lose you and you'd think, "Man! When did Gerlie get boring?".   If you are truly my friend, then you'd have already acted the voyeur that I know you are and looked at all our pictures on Gerlie's Facebook.  You'd know from all our FB check-ins that we went to tons of places.  John and I did reach our 15th year anniversary this year.  We went back to where it all started on Catalina Island at the Inn at Mt. Ada (aka the Wrigley Mansion).

Professionally, John and I are still loving what we do. More grays pepper our remaining hair.  More lines mark our seasoned faces.  Our kids continue to entertain, amaze and test us on a daily basis.  Much as I'd love to jump on to another string where time travels slower, I wouldn't change a thing about our 2012.

And so the gift wrapping unravels

Reflecting on the year always seems to be such a difficult task. Maybe because my fingers can't keep up with all the thoughts in my head as I try to remember everything that happened throughout the year. Maybe it's just because I've never mastered the skill of condensing all my thoughts into concise written words. Maybe it's because remembering is bittersweet and it just reminds me that another year has passed and I've added more lines on my face and zero inches on my vertical stature. Nevertheless, I will attempt to put it all into words and share it with you - because that's what Christmas is about, right? And I'm all about sharing.



So here goes...



Things I've learned from all our travels this year:

1) San Francisco is ALWAYS cold. Doesn't matter what time of year. Sure it's in California - theoretically, it should be warm. Nope! Plan on packing warm clothes otherwise you end up with miserable, whiny, snot-faced children. I had 4 of them during our trip.


2) Chinatown is the best place to take the kids when they have a $10 daily budget. You can buy a lot of useless doodads in Chinatown for $10! Be prepared for said useless doodads to break by the time you get to your hotel room, though. But hey - you can browse for hours looking at cheap useless doodads.





































3) Never give your children permission to text or call you when you travel internationally without them. Else you end with a significant cell phone bill at the end of the month.

4) Filipinos are everywhere. Case in point: the Grand Cayman island. Any service-oriented job seems to have been filled by a Filipino. It's not surprising then that the world's 7th Billion baby was born in the Philippines.



5) Apparently, the Ritz-Carlton frowns upon bringing your own libations. Seriously! You have to practice stealth when attempting to sneak alcohol into any of their hotel and beaches. Oh, and pouring vodka into water bottles won't work either. Said Filipino service workers are highly efficient and they will dump your vodka-disguised-as-a-water-bottle when they clean your room.



6) There is actually a point when your body says you've consumed too much alcohol and curing a hangover with more alcohol no longer works. Ask John. But this fact did not stop him from trying the aforementioned cure.







7) It takes all of 1 day of being treated like a high-paying guest at the Ritz to feel that you're entitled to it. By the end of the day, I was Posh Spice and deserved to be handed everything. Chartered yachts should be part of my day, dang it! Free massages should be customary - I mean the masseuse gets to touch my awesomeness, that should be gratuity enough, right?












8) Electronic devices are a must when traveling with children. Nooks, iPADs, cell phones, or any other device that keeps opposable thumbs busy if you want whine-free moments. They build hand-to-eye coordination. They make your children seem well-behaved. They allow you to pat yourself on the back because of you've done such a great job of rearing them. See how polite my children are? You only wish your children were that well-behaved! Thank you Steve Jobs for bullying everybody at Apple into understanding that mobile devices should only require thumbs to operate. We are a highly evolved species, after all.




9) The Philippines still has the best islands and beaches. Trust me on this. If you want to go somewhere exotic, consider this piece of information please.


10) Propeller planes are made of tin. You will feel every single movement. Laws of Thermodynamics apply and you will be susceptible to the whole "hot air rises" sensation. And traveling during a Typhoon makes it even more exciting. If you haven't had enough adventure in your life, hop on a propeller plane in the middle of a typhoon. It's guaranteed to make you feel alive.






11) When a guide tells you, "That's an indigenous snake that you probably shouldn't disturb," this is what they really mean: "That's a friggin' poisonous snake so move your as* out of the way!"







12) Children + water sports = FUN. Doesn't matter that the clouds are looming. Doesn't matter that the waves are high and the water's a bit chilly. It's the only time that they can get away with not washing their hands after they pee because they've been swimming in it anyway.


13) 6 year old + Swimming with Fish = PANIC. Doesn't matter that the fish are tiny. "They're fish and I don't know them and mom told me to steer clear of strangers and they're strange fish and they will bite me and then I'm dead." - that's the thought process of a 6 year old and you can't argue against it. Foolproof logic.






14) Children can eat the same meal for 5 straight days and it doesn't get old. Buffet - schmuffet! I want chocolate rice krispies for breakfast, hotdogs for lunch and hotdogs for dinner.




15) Eating a meal with your hands, under a tarp while angry raindrops pound noisily, alongside a community of the down-trodden is quite possibly one of the best meals you'll ever experience. Helping said community with your bare hands is a gift that you will re-open again and again when you're feeling down. It's the present you open when life gets too exhausting and you still have homework, laundry, and real work to do. It's the perfect present to open when you can't wrap your head around your child's illness.




16) Reunions open up old humiliations. Reunions make you vulnerable - you're a 14 year old insecure person again. Reunions remind you what you've been missing all these years and a hug brings it all back in a split-second. Reunions strengthen friendships that you let flounder because you've been busy doing the laundry. Reunions open up your heart.













17) Age definitely matures you. It makes you realize that you can dance like a fool and it won't matter that you did. It makes you accept that all the extra weight you carry means there's just more of you to love. It makes you forgiving and sometimes it even gives you the courage to ask for forgiveness.






18) "When I married Gerlie, I didn't realize I had married a country and it's the best decision I've ever made." is the best love letter my husband has ever written.




WHEW! I wrote a novel, didn't I? Thank you for humoring me and reading this far. So, what else did we do aside from travel?


SOCCER!!!!!! Audrey got upset because Garrett's now in soccer academy. How dare he! She should be the only club soccer player in the family!

All the kids have been taking art classes as evidenced by the pictures below:








Oh, and I've learned that kids learn sarcasm by osmosis. They just suck that attitude right in. I'm raising a bunch of book-reading, art-loving, ball-kicking smart a**es.




John's got an awesome team who make his workdays more rewarding. I've still got the best project, team and bosses - you know you are. Thank you.




The Calagdays and Jeltemas are still blessed with good health.


Life is good.




I know I write for John, Sophie, Audrey and Garrett when I say "Thank you for sharing your lives with us. Have a very happy holiday season!".



Go ahead - unwrap your gifts. I've opened mine already...

Maybe Medusa got sick of men telling her that long hair is sexier

Over 13 years ago, I walked down the aisle and married my husband. While we were dating, I sported hair that went down past my shoulders, about half-way down the curve of my back. I took the time to actually curl my hair every morning. Being of Asian descent, I am blessed with "luscious", heavy, and thick black hair that requires intense heat in order to behave in any semblance of style.

Cut to a few months after the marriage. I had ensnared my man. Time to reduce my daily prep time. So, off went about 4-5 inches of hair. I got myself a "pert" bob. Off went the sex appeal. Hey - I'm off the market, why bother with the work, right?

"FALSE ADVERTISING!" screamed my new husband. Never mind that he has now permanently relegated me to laundry duty when he used to share the job while we were in the getting-to-know-you phase.

My hair never truly went past my shoulders during the years it took to get pregnant with 3 children. As most moms can attest, unless you're willing to permanently pull your hair up in a ponytail, having short hair is in the "Book of Mom" manual. Ponytails bug. They make it easy for somebody to tug at me. They only look good on women that don't have a flat head. Oh, and they prevent you from sitting up straight in your car if you're not at least 5'4". Seriously, car seats were not designed for short people with ponytails. Try it. You can't drive past 5 miles, I guaranty it.




So, dear hubby lived with the wife that now had a bob. In short - I looked like the mom that I am. Granted, I never took to wearing mom jeans. But that's probably because they don't make it in almost- midget sizes.

Kids grow up. Work's ongoing. Soccer becomes part of our lifestyle. Homework is part of our daily rhythm. Dinner consists of anything that can be heated up in 15 minutes. Life gets hectic and I'm lucky if I get 15 minutes uninterrupted time in the bathroom to hide while I read the latest chick lit. Face time with anybody isn't possible. Facebook is my only window to my friends' worlds. Virtual has replaced actual interaction.

Time to visit a salon for a decent haircut ranks about 58 in my list of priorities. Slowly, slowly, slowly the bob has become haircut that my husband once considered "hot". Sure, it's decidedly feminine. But let me tell you, why having long hair is a pain:

1. It takes more time to blow dry your hair. When every single minute counts because you need to be at work exactly at 8:35 am every morning, blow drying hair is a luxury.
2. Brushing your teeth becomes an art form. When you use your hands to cup water to rinse with, you need to always remember to push your hair back, otherwise you've just managed to wet the hair you just finished blow-drying. Buying disposable cups goes against my environmentally friendly, waste reduction conscious bathroom routine. And it takes too much effort to bring bathroom cups downstairs to the dishwasher and replace it with a new one. Seriously - you have to think about this shit.
   
3. You have to spend more money on shampoo AND conditioner because you use so much more of it. DUH!
   
4. There's a lot more hair that you have to clean up off the bathroom floor. When your hair is jet black and your tile floor is beige, piles of hair just look disgusting. It doesn't matter whether or not you're anal retentive. Hair on the floor is just yucky. And walking barefoot on all that hair makes the gross-factor go up even further.
5. Gray hair is all that more obvious. There's nothing worse than being in denial about reaching middle-age and seeing long strands of gray flying by your face when the wind whips your hair about.
   
6. Eating soup is out of the question unless you have a hair clip handy to push the hair back. There's nothing worse that smelling like Korean BBQ all day because your hair's soaked in the delicious smells at the all you can eat buffet you went to for lunch. Sure, the smell's not that unpleasant. But the smell teases you all day. And then you snack on whatever's handy because all you can think of is chomping on that smell.
7. The worse reason of all - you can't wear any sleeveless clothes, especially while sleeping. Have you ever had hair stuck in your armpits? No - I'm not talking about armpit hair that's meant to be stuck in your armpits. I shave that hair, thank you very much. I'm talking about getting hair growing from your scalp. You can't even turn your head because the hair's constricted your movement. Bet you've never even considered this, have you? Well let me tell you. It sucks. Like when you're in the middle of screaming because your daughter just scored a soccer goal and you turn your head and BAM! Whiplash!
   

All I'm saying is -men, next time you tell your lady-friend that she should consider growing her hair long, consider the above. Sure, long hair may be symbolic of a carefree, spirited, young girl. But let me tell you, it comes with a price and you'll be bearing the cost. She'll make you pay in some form or another, just like Medusa did. I'm still making my husband pay. A beer here. A foot massage there. Downstairs speakers. A new IPAD 2. Wait - maybe it is worth it :-)

My >$40K Lemon

On September 2006, John bought a 2004 Lexus GX470 for me from a car dealer in Santa Monica. The car had extremely low miles on it, and it seemed like a good deal at the time.

Because we were buying the car from an independent dealer rather than a Lexus dealer, we took it to Park Place Lexus to check against their certification guidelines. They reported back some minor things that needed to be corrected (the car had been sitting in the lot for a while), but otherwise did not give us any recommendation against a purchase. So we finalized the purchase.

Fast forward to 2008. The car's warranty was up so I wanted to purchase an extended warranty for it. I took the car back to Park Place for an extended warranty inspection. The car passed inspection and Park Place Lexus brokered my purchase of the extended warranty from Zurich Insurance.

The entire time, my vehicle has been serviced only by Park Place Lexus (now called South County Lexus due to an ownership change).

Last month, I brought my car in for it's 55K mile service. Brakes were replaced. Fluids replenished. Service rep called me and said that the right rear axle is bent. "Did I get into any car accidents," he asked. Nope. But I've driven over parking lot curbs. He said that the service would cost around $1400. He recommended going through my car insurance to reduce my cost. So, I did.I picked up my car from Lexus and paid the >$500 it cost to service the vehicle.

Allstate Insurance recommended that I bring my car into Sterling Body Shop. Allstate towed the vehicle, got me a car rental and Sterling called to say, "we can't see anything wrong the car." So, I pointed them over to South County Lexus. Sterling confirmed the issue, ordered the part, fixed the car and then called me to say the car was ready. I came to pick up the car, and Sterling reps said, "Um, listen, we drove the car and it's not drivable. It's not aligned and when we looked into it, we saw that your frame is bent. This car's been in a major accident. Let's walk over to the car and we'll show you what we saw".

Walked over to the car, and saw that 1) the right passenger side has been replaced, the paint color didn't match the rest of the vehicle; 2) the right front wheel is closer to the back wheel frame than the front. Essentially, the car's been in some major damage and somebody had used heat to correct the frame. Car's not driveable - keeps pulling. "What can I do?," I ask. Well, they recommended having an AllState adjuster come take a look at the car to see if the damage can somehow be covered by insurance. Another few more days of waiting...

I got a call - AllState can't do anything because this qualified as prior damage. So, I pay the $400 deductible for the rear axle work, drive my car out of the lot (all the while fighting the pull of the misaligned frame) and then call South County Lexus to say, "Listen, my car was driving fine until I took it in for its regular service. Please fix this."

Brought car back into South County Lexus. Got a loaner vehicle in the meantime. South County Lexus called me to say, we've tweaked it so that the car drives straight. But the car is jacked. If you drive over a pothole, it may become misaligned again. Sick of the drama, I ask about the potential trade-in value of the car. Sales was going to look over the car and call me.

So, today, I finally talked to sales. "Ma'am, we can't buy the car back from you because it's a liability. At this point, we recommend totaling the car." F*****K! This is not a cheap car. It's a friggin' luxury vehicle that drives.

So, why am I writing about this? I need advice. Who can I go after? What's my next move? Ideas? Any lawyers out there that can tell me what the best approach would be at this point?

It's Christmas 2010

Wow - 2010 sure went quickly! It's Christmas again, and once again, you'll find no holiday greeting cards in your mail box from us. Sure, they pretend to be your friends. But yet again, the Christmas card isn't there.

Did you offend, maybe? NAH, just call us Procrastinators. Christmas cards have gone the way of Netscape, actually. As we are now in the age of Twitter and Facebook, don't expect cards anytime soon. We're going virtual and providing you with instant gratification!

So what have we been up to this year? Just check out pictures here. If you're not my friend yet, then too bad ;-)

So - leave it to the Procrastinators to leave our Christmas greetings til the very last minute.
And here's how we feel about the very wet days that led up to Christmas this year:

Other than the mudslides, we didn't really want for anything this year.

News about the kiddos:
This year marked the only year that Sophie, Audrey and Garrett are in the same school. Sophie's in 5th grade, Audrey's in 4th and Garrett's in Kindergarten.

Garrett has been having a tough time adjusting behaviorally - he is a product of his genes after all ;-). But he's 5. Academically, he's brilliant! He's decided that he'll be a hip-hop dancer when he grows up. He wants to be Mike Chang on Glee.

Audrey signed with Eclipse this year and has been playing excellent defense for their U9 team. She's really bonded with her teammates and absolutely loves soccer. Her writing skills have improved tremendously with her 4th grade teacher. Along with Sophie, she's been taking Art classes as well and her talents have become quite evident. She's also taken up the violin. We have not been invited to listen to her yet, so who knows how she's really doing...

Sophie is still an academically gifted child, who's mature beyond her years. She is growing up to be such a pleasant young lady. Art class has been quite an eye-opener for her. At first, she didn't want any formal instruction that may "taint her natural talent". Such hubris! But, it has really honed her skills. She's still playing the viola and has come a long way from last year.

Both Sophie and Audrey had their first communion this year. What an accomplishment!

And what about the couple?
This year, we celebrated our 13th anniversary. This is our 15th Christmas together. Who'd have thunk!

We celebrated this year with tons of concerts, from Muse, Train, Kings of Leon, to Glee. We went to Vegas twice (and are quite sick of it now). We did little trips this year with the kiddos as we recover from the fallout of 2009's recession. We're still both employed, doing what we like to do best.

A few more wrinkles line our faces. A few more grays lighten up our hair. We have a blessed life with wonderful loved ones surrounding us. We are thankful to our almighty for every challenge that has come our way that has served to make us stronger.

We wish you and your families a very Happy Holiday Season!

Internal Struggles of a Working Parent

This little composition was written 3 years ago...

“Sophie, take a picture of my armpits!” screamed Audrey, my 5 year old to her older sister who had been designated as the family historian for the day, as we sat in traffic on the 91 freeway on the way to a baseball game. Garrett, my 2 year old, is shaking his head to the music on the car radio. Sophie obliges Audrey as John and I laugh hysterically. I think to myself, it’s moments like this that I remember why I signed up as a Mom.

As I let Audrey’ ludicrous exclamation sink in, I wonder how many of the ridiculous moments of my children’s lives I miss throughout the day as I sit in meetings or write up documents. Then I wonder how many other Moms out there ask themselves the same question. Ok, let’s not be gender specific. How many other parents out there ask themselves the same question?

Rigor is operative word in order to be a working parent. Endless loops of bulleted list that swim in my head characterize my day. Here’s how it goes:

For x = 1 to N
• Wake up at 6 and get ready for work
• Get the kids up and ready for school
• Leave and get to work by 8 at the latest
• Spend the day at work and actually get work done
• Make any doctor appointments, play dates, dental appointments
• Pick up the kids from school
• Take the kids to whatever activity they happen to have for the day
• Get home, make dinner and help the kids with homework
• Get the kids bathed and ready for bed
• Make the kids’ lunches for the next day
• Get some additional work done
• Go to sleep eventually
Next x, where N = no end in sight; x is measured in day increments

This is just not a glamorous list, is it? Why can’t I simply join the ranks of content housewives that spend their days trekking their kids from one activity to another? These Moms seem to have it made - they get to spend time with their kids.

But are they really content? Catch phrases have come and gone to characterize this internal struggle parents go through. Quality Time. Active Parenting. Just to name a few.

I personally find contentment in knowing I exercised both the right and left sides of my brain during the day. I guess contentment for me boils down to a burning desire to keep learning. To constantly ask questions and strive to get the answers to them. To negotiate with adults about keeping solutions within scope and not just negotiating with kids about which Strawberry Shortcake DVD they get to watch if they’re good. To know that my identity is not just wrapped up in being a Mom.

So what damage am I inflicting on my children when they see me running from one task to another, most of the time in parallel mode? How does this guilt impact my level of engagement at work and the work products I produce?

I’d like to think that this guilt has made me a more efficient worker. That I am able cut to the chase and produce what needs to be done in the time I have available. That I am not going to waste anybody else time because I know that other people’s time is just as valuable as my own.

I’d like to think that my children learn what good work ethic is about. That nobody is simply entitled to anything. They see enough of the perceived affluence in Orange County and the sense of entitlement that huge portions of its population adopt as an attitude. One of my neighbors was featured on “The Real Housewives of O.C.” – and I can’t help but judge them. I never want my kids to end up like their kids.

I actually love the fact that my kids see me go to work. I know that they understand that the work that I do is partially responsible providing them with shelter, food, and clothing. I know that they understand that the time I do spend with them is valuable to me.

So I treasure moments when one of my kids says something completely out of the ordinary. Or when they beat me at UNO fair and square. Or when one of them gives me an unsolicited bear hug and tells me that they love me.

So I treasure the moments when I raise a point in a meeting that nobody’s considered. Or when I learn what GAL means. Or when I fall flat on my face during a discussion and walk away knowing I just learned something.

Facebook and the Loss of Mystery

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...

So I spend most of my workday with multiple browser tabs and applications open. After all, I now monitor at least 7 different sources of communication (Client Email, Work Email, Gmail, Yahoo Mail, IM, Communicator, Facebook) just on my PC. Inevitably, as my mind draws a blank in the middle of actual work, though, I gravitate towards Facebook to clear my thoughts of anything significant and possibly draw inspiration to get back to work. Somehow, this gateway to status updates has woven its way into the fabric of my being.

How did this happen???? FB is for the mundane. There is that rare moment where some friend actually posts something profound and triggers neurons to fire. I find that I live for those moments where I can give a thumbs up or second a comment somebody posted. That just sounds so wrong! I am now passively waiting for something to latch my opinions against. As if I wasn’t capable of an original thought. Is that really what I am about? But then it hits me – I purposely attach my thoughts against others because by initiating my own, I somehow open myself up to becoming vulnerable. I somehow become party to the loss of mystery that I am now lamenting.

When I first joined FB, I was so excited about the idea of finding long lost friends. I actively sought out friends. Since I go by a pseudonym on FB, I always initiate the call to “friendship”. I collected friends quickly. My first few weeks on FB, friends posted something of perceived value to me. Maybe it’s because most of the folks I “friended” were people that I hadn’t kept in touch with for years and even decades, it was exciting to find out where life took them. But I soon remembered why I didn’t keep in touch. Don’t get me wrong, I love playing voyeur. I scan photos posted by friends. I actually took time to read status updates at one point. But some folks are just plain boring!

I really don’t need a play by play of somebody’s trip to Costco. I also don’t need to know what city a person should be living in. Please – it’s just noise to me! Most of all, I don’t need any hugs and smiles and invitations to causes. Folks – do me a favor, keep a little to yourself.
With the advent of affordable mobile devices, more and more people are posting on FB as events unfold. Although this is such a technical leap, it does get in the way of actual personal interaction. I’ve caught myself on the phone with somebody discussing their recent postings. It’s almost an excuse not to actually have any personal interaction anymore since all I need to do is login into FB to catch up on their lives.

Just a month ago, I attended a 3 day reunion Although it was a blast, I was saddened by the fact that I couldn’t pull my husband aside and whisper, “Man, time has not been kind to that person!” I already saw the degradation play by play and photo by photo on FB.

Oh and I am a hypocrite, btw. I am such an open book. Don’t believe me? Check out my wall